Be Emotionally Available to Yourself
“Spend time exploring what your mind, body and spirit need for fulfillment.”
The idea that one cannot find healthy relationships with others is not about others but about ourselves. Do we find time to check in and how we feel emotionally, mentally and spiritually? Many people chase relationships, instead of saying to themselves, where do I want to be and what do I want to do?
The premise is that we minimize our thoughts, emotions and ideas to help others heal from their wounds, thinking we don’t have any healing to do of our own. The assumption is if we were not abused, abandoned, assaulted, or severely ill, what do we have to heal from? In reality, we all have something to heal from. Our wounds could be parent absenteeism in the form of our parents working day and night, and coming home from work when we’re in bed. It could be our parents were in prison, in our early years of life and the bond is still weak. Our wound could also be our parents were emotional neglectful, due to their own issues.
You might say, so what, I turned out fine. I’m not in jail or an addict, have a good job and take care of myself and my family. However, if you find yourself feeling unsatisfied at your job, feeling unfulfilled after a night of partying, feeling empty after sexual pleasure, then you have been absent from your internal self, meaning emotionally, mentally, and/or spiritually unavailable for yourself.
When things that used to bring you joy stop bringing you pleasure, it is time to take inventory and see what is going on inside of you. It’s okay to take time to examine your life. Plato once said that the unexamined life is not worth living, where we need to take some time to figure what we want our lives to look like. This does not mean you stop living, but you take the unknown road and try new things once in awhile. So, the next time you see a chance to learn a new dance, or take a class in an unfamiliar subject, you might end up finding joy in new things and letting go of things that no longer serve you.